Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
