Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
