I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is wine microwaveable?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
