Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
