You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
