you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
