I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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