Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
