Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
