I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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