She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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