I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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