im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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