Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
