He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
