u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
