Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
