Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
