i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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