just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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