So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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