break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
