so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
