there was a trapeze. enough said
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That accounts for only three of the penises
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
