I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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