I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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