And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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