Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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