After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
