wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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