THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
