She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
