What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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