He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
