Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
