before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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