Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize