I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I need water and some morals
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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