I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
