is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize