return my video game
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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