South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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