D3 body, D1 cock
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
