k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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