Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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