its not stalking. its research.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
