I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize