Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
