I skipped work to stalk him.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
