Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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