you have to choose: penises or morals?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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