I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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