I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
