OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just come out here and I will go home with you...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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