He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
