Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
